The nice thing about breaking up what would usually be one giant post for me, is that I get 5 much smaller and more easily managed posts that I essentially write all at the same time anyway. It’s January in 2014! This is like, when I promise to increase my volume of posts and shit! Well, that would have been more likely through 2013 had I been more single, something I’ve remedied towards the end of last year. Wait, what are we doing here again? Ah, that’s right. Teasing the dinosaur.
- Dirt 3 – There it is, my weakness for racing games actually poked its head out in 2013 for a moment. Unfortunately it was on an average-at-best rally oriented game with little in the way of progression aside from unlocking more and more cars I couldn’t care less about. Mechanically, racing games shouldn’t change much at all over the years. We kind of figured that shit out a decade ago, but they keep trying new things and fail to inspire much more than a subdued “yay”. I’m still waiting for the indie company that can come in, make an open world style racing game with customizable vehicles down to the frame. Meanwhile I’ll keep dipping my toes into the fetid stinking pool of dead and dying AAA franchises that have failed to reinvigorate their lineup for years.
- Deadpool – I had to turn this shit off. I mean, yeah, I bought it because I thought Deadpool being a crazy fuckhat would be kind of funny in the way that Deadpool is kind of funny. The thing is, Deadpool as a character loses all the charm and quip of Deadpool in small doses. Not to mention the fact that you can FUCKING DIE as Deadpool. HELLOOOOO, GAME DEVS, HE CAN’T DIE. ugh. Don’t even bother. Just watch the clips on Youtube from before it was released and pretend you played a game that was that good.
- Strike Suit Zero – Meanwhile, back on my list of games that I actually enjoyed… SSZ did it for me. Not in the manner that I would bother playing through the whole thing more than once, well I did go back and clear some stages for unlocks so technically… Flying around in a giant space ninja robot (where have I of heard space ninjas lately? hmm…) having excellently crafted dogfights and taking on capital ships. There’s so many things to be pleased about. Then it was all over. Welp, it was technically a Kickstarted funded indie game, so I guess I can’t complain too much. Worth the bits spent on it for sure.
- Neverwinter – D&D Fourth Edition Online! I played this for about as long as I played Aion, just for the record. The thing is, 4e is a much better system for someone looking to enjoy combat, sort of how 3e was the result of creating a new system that worked better for PC gaming than 2e. Personally I don’t hold any edition of D&D in particular regard unless there’s THAC0 involved, but I’m getting off topic. PerfectWorld/Cryptic took a bite out of the game with their absolutely ridiculous cash shop which is ultimately what turned me away from putting more time into it. I understand the need for a F2P game to make money, but they were charging 50$ for a fairly standard fucking mount. I don’t know why that’s acceptable. Fuck that. God, just remembering it now is pissing me off. Next game.
- Surgeon Simulator 2013 – Hehe, I remember this game. Just go and watch a video of it online. It’s silly. I got rather good at the weird control scheme, at least to the point that I figured out how to interact with the disks on your desk and load up the space mission. Never did get any good at the actual game, the control is just weird enough to ruin any semblance of precision for me. That’s part of the charm though, weird control scheme makes surgery crazy bad. Blood everywhere. Don’t stab yourself with the drugs or… well. Drugs. That was fun to find out the hard way.
- Magic: The Gathering: DotP 2014 – This very nearly got me into buying actual cards again and deckbuilding properly. As is usually the case with M:TG games, unless they have free-form deckbuilding, you’re going to upset a large part of your playerbase. Instead it was the same unlock a dozen cards for your theme-specific deck while facing harder opponents. Some of the challenge modes this year were actually challenging and reminded me of the impossible hands from the back of the Inquest magazing back in the day, but not nearly as difficult. Sometimes you need to scratch an itch and M:TG 2014 couldn’t quite reach it for me this year.