Love/Hate: A letter from an Archmage

(this guest post brought to you by @AndyBursh)

Dear Disciple of Khaine and Warrior Priest,
 

I hate you, I really do, but I love you too damned much to stay mad at you.

First things first: I’ve got to ask you how a 1s group heal that can heal for more than a 2.5s single target heal isn’t unbalanced?

You’re fantastic partners to have as a healer, but I have a sort of love/hate relationship with you. I love healing alongside you, because you keep me alive and make up for my absence when I’m kiting somebody around; even while you stand in one spot whistling and making origami penguins. It’s like you’d be just as happy and effective without me.

When I’m running around like a mad man screaming for help, unable to help heal the group with more than HoTs, you stand stoic, spamming that group heal, determined to make sure our groups health never drops. Thanks. I hate you.

Beside your overpowered might, I look no more than a child in one of my mother’s ill-fitting dresses. I guess it’s cool though, because you don’t have a clue what to do when the other team all decide to beat up the same person; that’s where you need my help. In those peaceful moments when I’m not dead and I’m not running away like a Shaman with a speed proc, I put absorb shields on our MDPS and magical infusions on our little tanks; it makes me ever so happy to see them drop below 20% health and then go shooting back up instantly. I know some of that is down to you, but I tell myself that was all my work; it helps me get through the day, ok!? 

I prance around cleaning up those little bits you missed with your incessant group heal spam, and tickling our enemies with my debuffs. Sometimes, I even put a HoT on you because it makes me feel good. 

Then I see the scoreboard. You’ve done ten bajillion healing in nine minutes, and I’ve done about five thousand; but I was putting HoTs on everybody and using my channelled heal to save my favourite little Slayer from being blown up by the nasty Sorcerer .. I hardly even died either. I felt like I’d done really well, but no, you take that all away from with your stupid group heal. By the time I’ve cast a heal, or seen a HoT tic, your next wave of health has hit and rendered my efforts null; but if it weren’t that way, you wouldn’t be the same stubborn, armour clad, hammer wielding prat I fell in hate with.

When I see the enemy, I cry and run away. What do you do? You stand there like a statue and take the beating with that ridiculous armour, you idiot; but then you’re still spamming that stupid group heal and keeping me alive! You only do it because you can’t run away in that much armour.

If I’m lucky, I’ll see that skanky Witch Elf coming. Then, when she pops on me, I’ll be able to get away, and lead her on a wild goose chase around the map; all the time jeering at her and screaming for help. If she catches me though, I’m dead. Again. Not even you can save me. You wouldn’t even try, but if I can keep her away for long enough your constant healing might keep me alive until the friendly neighbourhood Dwarf comes and hits her round the head. If you were in trouble, and by some miracle I wasn’t, I’d heal you with everything I’ve got, because I love you that much!

So, you make me look pathetic on the scoreboard – stealing all my healing points – and then you make me look like a weakling when somebody attacks me. Great … but your wounds buff is so damned good for me, how could I stay mad at you?

Sometimes, I get tired of looking like a fool compared to you. You make me so angry, I unleash the power of Khaine upon my enemies in a tirade of lasers and pain – but I still heal people, or myself. I run around the map, trying to find that stupid Choppa so I can put all my DoTs on him then burn his face off with my Searing Touch. During all this, what’s happening to our groups health? That’s right, it’s not going anywhere. You’ve got it covered. See, I told you it’s like you don’t even need me. I feel so unappreciated. 

Still, I suppose I should take solace in the fact that I can try and kill people when you make me angry. In fact, I’m pretty much a one-elf killing machine. I don’t need you to heal me. My enemies pain is my tonic.

Sorry, what? You can do that too? When have I ever made you angry? What? You get to run around with a big hammer smacking people in the face? Fantastic. I guess I should have figured that you carry a hammer for a reason. So you’re telling me you can do all those things that I thought made me special – healing myself by damaging my enemies – AND that stupid armour of yours means you can go toe-to-toe with those ugly Marauders? That’s just unfair.

Well, I have heard more complaints about my legendary damage, so I guess I must just be better than you. So there!

I don’t know if you know this though, but people really hate it when you get your big hammer out. When you hold it in both hands, it’s like you forget how to heal completely. What am I meant to do if you’re not wildly spamming your group heal like the disabled chimp I’ve grown to love? Well, I’ll die a lot more, and so will the rest of our team.

You know what, I’m glad you’re a healer. I love you when you heal. You keep everybody alive, suffuse us with the glow of high quality group heals. However, if I hear you’ve been having another affair with a Rune Priest, it’s over. I’m going dps spec forever.

Kindest regards,
The Archmage.

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Love/Hate: A letter from an Archmage

  1. HA…damn sissy elves. They look all the same to me when their corpses, such is the life of The Chosen of Tzentech.

  2. I stopped read when I saw - First things first: I’ve got to ask you how a 1s group heal that can heal for more than a 2.5s single target heal isn’t unbalanced? The person who wrote this obviously does not understand the game.

  3. So, you’re trying to imply that the most heavily armored healer with the easiest access to the mechanic needed to cast the most powerful heals in the game is somehow fair and balanced?Someone, quickly, pass me the drugs. I need to read this letter again apparently.

  4. @Random DoK: Try and understand that this piece was written from the perspective of an Archmage. I don’t know if you’ve ever played a healer outside of DoK/WP in T4 for any amount of time, but that question is one that comes up time and time again, whether to yourself or in conversation.I lead with that because I feel it’s the biggest question right now for cloth healers.As for not understanding the game: I can understand you saying that if you’ve never played a less powerful healer in T4, otherwise go ahead and validate that statement for me. I’d love to see that.

  5. hey i hope you don’t mind i reposted this on my blog. i feel it’s an accurate assessment of where healers mindsets are at right now. and hopefully if enough of us jump on it mythic will change it.

  6. I have played a cloth healer to 80. With the experience from playing both classes I know that, with the same willpower, the delve is higher on the cloth caster group heal. I totally agree that the WP/DOK heals are above where they should be and they need to change the rate of essnce/fury regen or tone down the heals. Unfortunately, that first statement was all I needed to understand it was just another butthurt writer who doesn’t understand the other things his class gets like desperation. DOK/WP have one heal and very few tactics which support those heals.

  7. Yeah, you have one heal. That must get boring after a while. However, it’s the one heal that’s needed to compete currently. The DoK and WP were never really intended to be backline healers, hence their healing tree being pretty sub-par in comparison. Somewhere along the line someone fucked up and made their 1s cast group heal just as powerful as everyone else.Cloth healers should absolutely dominate melee healers at casted heals. That’s so far from the cast, although due to a single ability, it’s just sad.

  8. Yeah, you have one heal. That must get boring after a while. However, it’s the one heal that’s needed to compete currently. The DoK and WP were never really intended to be backline healers, hence their healing tree being pretty sub-par in comparison. Somewhere along the line someone fucked up and made their 1s cast group heal just as powerful as everyone else.Cloth healers should absolutely dominate melee healers at casted heals. That’s so far from the case, although due to a single ability, it’s just sad. Any number of things could have been done over the years to really fix it, but no one at Mythic has had a pair needed to mess with the status quo. To this I say FEH. Like other games don’t have FotM classes. In WAR we’ve had two (DoK/WP, BW/Sorc) since launch!

  9. Archmages being better at damage than a DoK? I guess you never saw Medeas, walking out of every Scenario with more damage done than any DD, no matter of AOE- or single-skilled. It’s not just the heal which they are good at.Those careers are too strong at the moment and it’s good that something is done about that!

  10. Just the truth and whiny in a funny way :-). I´d recommend a WP/DOK over an archmage every day for groupbuilding. Can´t help it though – still love my sissy anorexic elf and wouldn´t want to play anything else. Masochistic i guess…

  11. @RandomDoK: I understand perfectly well everything the AM has at its disposal, and I understand where the AM will excel over the WP. However, the fact of the matter is the AM just doesn’t put out the same kind of numbers as a WP – I KNOW it can do, I’ve done it myself, but in a group with a WP, the WP will more often than not do the majority of the healing, with the AM being there to deal with spikes and people out of range of group heal. I know where the strengths and weaknesses lie in my class Anyway, what good are things like desperation, wild healing, magical infusion, restorative burst, balanced mending, funnel essence etc when you often can’t stand still for long enough to cast more than a single healing energy? That, or you’re dead.I would be more than happy to have my group heal AP cost increased for a decrease in cast time – hell, make it a tactic if you have to, replace Bolstering Boon or something. Combined with with Wild Healing, I have 50% AP costs almost all the time anyway, add to that AP drain, restorative burst and AP pots and the increased AP cost of a group heal is negligible.You should also try and remember that I wrote it from the perspective of the average AM, taking bits from the general community consensus and mixing it with my own views and feelings.@Maxdmg: I love my archmage too, wouldn’t play any other healer. They look and play just right for me.

  12. Dear ArchmageIt is fair to say you often do not get the praise that you deserve.Many times I have to explain that 50% of my healing is fluff and my ability to produce impressive numbers at the end of the scenario is possible only because I have friendly cloth healer actually stopping people from dying alongside me – although of course when I say ‘alongside me’ I usually mean ‘kiting a melee-train in panicked circles 50 feet behind me’.I love you for your insta-res, when mine takes many seconds, and is so often set-back or silenced. I love you for your immense focus-healing that enables me to withstand a co-ordinated onslaught when the enemy decides that it might be worth trying to kill me after all. I am inspired by your determination to play a class which takes so much time to master when I know I would probably find it just too frustrating.It is a sad truth that the person who is most able to appreciate the value of a talented cloth healer is often the warrior priest in the same group. But take some comfort in this private appreciation, even if the scenario scoreboard lowers your self-esteem just a little bit every time.Now excuse me, I must whisper this archmage in the scenario I’m in. You see I’m one-button healing a group even as I type this comment, and my healing total is so much larger than his that I fear he might ragequit when he sees the final tally.Fondest regards,A Warrior Priest

  13. @Gibb: I really enjoyed that! I had wanted to write a response to my own post, but I guess you beat me to it 😛 I wouldn’t really have known where to start from the WP perspective either, I suppose

  14. Hoiyes some of your points are partially true, but you totally ignore the weaknesses we have in exchange.all in all your letter is not Love/Hate its Whine/WhineHard words i know and i dont want to provoke or hurt with it, its only my point of view.if you think an class is op try and play it, youll learn soon enough its not op.adioz

  15. As an RP, this one is on the money. I appreciate I have tactic’s that will boost the healing effectiveness, but it’s pretty much insta time all the time, because I can’t afford to stop still. In 2.5 seconds, I can effectively be out of range of the action. Peopl talk about dealing with the spike damage, well at the moment, with some of the RR groups I am fighting against, even with a WP (R73) in the group, I can’t deal with the spike damage, because it happens so fast. We have a tank guarding the slayer (RR72) and the slayer can just flat line in the time it takes me to click on him, let alone cast an insta. A lot of things seem out of kilter atm.

  16. @Daemoneyes: I agree you have your weaknesses, but I don’t feel like those weaknesses bring the class down by much. I still feel like you’re above the other classes in terms of performance by a margin.

  17. @AndyBursh: I can imagine you feel the way you do. AMs in my guild often run around screaming (either on TS or vent :)) and die more often then they deserve.@Gibb: spot on reply from a WPs point of view. Often I’ve seen any type of dps switch from me (WP) to AM or other clothwearing characters simply IRps as well for that matter) because I die too slow and clothwearing characters simply die much faster and easier.Speaking for and being a WP though, we’ve had our rough times as well in the past and sometimes it is rather enjoyable to stand, heal and watch.

Bother With A Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s